Hi-Koo 4 U
crisp autumn urges
longing for a killerette
breath deep and scent air
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
9:30 p.m. will be one full week
So,
one full week of no nicotine/smoking at 930 pm tonite.
932 to be exact
i can still taste the last cigarette on the drive home
this day is easier.
did a bit of research on how not to gain weight while quitting. bet you can figure it out: eat more fruits and vegetables and exercise. LOL. hope they didn't spend millions on that research
do i still have cravings? yes i do. do i give a shit about them? no, not much. that's the story of now anyway
p.s. if you have a cigarette, it's a slip. if you start up again, it's a relapse.
no, i have had neither slip nor relapse.
Thank you for your support girlies.
some of my best advice for the people of the world:
don't start smoking
there is not a smoker in this world who wouldn't go back and change their history to be one who never smoked at all
don't start
and you won't have to stop
i can feel my body healing
negative symptoms:
heartburn still occasionally but that may be due to the grease i stuff into my mouth in lieu of killerettes
snoring still bad...sorry hubsand
some physical pain in stomach
some depression-but that could be normal autumnal winter coming depressions (and etc.etc.depressions)rather than nicwithsymp depression
positives and symptoms:
it smells so lovely here in the pine forest really it does
i breathe
i feel proud of myself
i have saved money
i want to be a quitter
i am healing
Okay enough about me for now.
how are you doing>
loveya
diana
one full week of no nicotine/smoking at 930 pm tonite.
932 to be exact
i can still taste the last cigarette on the drive home
this day is easier.
did a bit of research on how not to gain weight while quitting. bet you can figure it out: eat more fruits and vegetables and exercise. LOL. hope they didn't spend millions on that research
do i still have cravings? yes i do. do i give a shit about them? no, not much. that's the story of now anyway
p.s. if you have a cigarette, it's a slip. if you start up again, it's a relapse.
no, i have had neither slip nor relapse.
Thank you for your support girlies.
some of my best advice for the people of the world:
don't start smoking
there is not a smoker in this world who wouldn't go back and change their history to be one who never smoked at all
don't start
and you won't have to stop
i can feel my body healing
negative symptoms:
heartburn still occasionally but that may be due to the grease i stuff into my mouth in lieu of killerettes
snoring still bad...sorry hubsand
some physical pain in stomach
some depression-but that could be normal autumnal winter coming depressions (and etc.etc.depressions)rather than nicwithsymp depression
positives and symptoms:
it smells so lovely here in the pine forest really it does
i breathe
i feel proud of myself
i have saved money
i want to be a quitter
i am healing
Okay enough about me for now.
how are you doing>
loveya
diana
Monday, September 28, 2009
New Post 5 days 17.5 hours (approximate-LOL)
Well, to those who were waiting for a blog post here it is:
1. Saturday was HELL.
just so you know.
i wanted to cry and scream.
i did speak with supporters and they (sarah) helped me
in fact, the 3 dearest have all been so supportive
and best of all,
jenni said i can say the word fuck on my blog.
so fuck. it's gotten easier these last 2 days.
the pain pangs are fewer and further between.
By the way,
note to childrens of my heart:
over 7 years ago, i started smoking again. the reasons for this are sheer stupidity and none of your business. but i swear on my babies' lives it had nothing to do with the fact that one of my loveys started smoking. so there. it was personal.
and all in the past.
truth is, an addict is always looking for an excuse to begin using again.
seriously.
and think of poor poor hubsand (sic) who bears brunt of bitchiness.
i deny it at the time, but have been having more bitchier bitch twinges than usual.
so
did i mention eating?
I have always eaten more than necessary, but in the last few days it's all out fuck it and i am eating more than more than necessary.
haven't fully kicked in with addiction to exercise yet, but the journey of a thousand steps has begun. (regardless of what other's think, a good cliche works for me every time)
bye for now loveys
diana
1. Saturday was HELL.
just so you know.
i wanted to cry and scream.
i did speak with supporters and they (sarah) helped me
in fact, the 3 dearest have all been so supportive
and best of all,
jenni said i can say the word fuck on my blog.
so fuck. it's gotten easier these last 2 days.
the pain pangs are fewer and further between.
By the way,
note to childrens of my heart:
over 7 years ago, i started smoking again. the reasons for this are sheer stupidity and none of your business. but i swear on my babies' lives it had nothing to do with the fact that one of my loveys started smoking. so there. it was personal.
and all in the past.
truth is, an addict is always looking for an excuse to begin using again.
seriously.
and think of poor poor hubsand (sic) who bears brunt of bitchiness.
i deny it at the time, but have been having more bitchier bitch twinges than usual.
so
did i mention eating?
I have always eaten more than necessary, but in the last few days it's all out fuck it and i am eating more than more than necessary.
haven't fully kicked in with addiction to exercise yet, but the journey of a thousand steps has begun. (regardless of what other's think, a good cliche works for me every time)
bye for now loveys
diana
Thursday, September 24, 2009
40 hours 41 minutes but who's counting...
Hello Race Fans.
It's me back with another update.
I just want to say:
F**k this: cigarettes, nicotine,
tobacco, quitting, withdrawal,
thinking about cigarettes,
pangs pains pings
my eff asterisk asterisk kay
would probably be reported if i spelled it out right?
hence the F**k.
what if i wrote eff you see kay?
enough.
my blog will be gone
sooner than
the nicotine out of my body.
hanging in there
love me,
diana
It's me back with another update.
I just want to say:
F**k this: cigarettes, nicotine,
tobacco, quitting, withdrawal,
thinking about cigarettes,
pangs pains pings
my eff asterisk asterisk kay
would probably be reported if i spelled it out right?
hence the F**k.
what if i wrote eff you see kay?
enough.
my blog will be gone
sooner than
the nicotine out of my body.
hanging in there
love me,
diana
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Today
Today is the day.
Actually, it is my birthday. I am giving myself a gift.
I am a non-smoker.
So, how many hours so far? Well, it's 10:40 a.m. and my last killerette was at 9:32 p.m. on the 22nd of September, 2009. Not to be specific or anything.
I figured overnighting without a killerette (did I just make that up? a real term for cigarette? I should trademark that. BRB.)
Okay, now it's trademarked. (easy online process)
As I was saying, I figured overnighting without a killerette (tm) would be the best way to start.
And let me recommend a book. The book seems to work as subtle brainwashing. By Allen Carr, it's titled The EasyWay to Stop Smoking. You want to quit, you buy the book. You start reading it. Carr says, keep smoking the whole time you read this book, so you take about 3 months to read it. (One who usually reads a book every two days....yeah you figured it out.) Meanwhile, everything you've been reading is simmering in your brain. By the time you finish you are chomping at the bit
(ooh horse similes-that's just horsing around, isn't it!)
to give it up and start your journey to freedom.
So, enough plugging of the book, and I don't even get royalties. Unless you'd like to share Mr. Carr?
I stopped smoking once for seven years. Seriously. Then I started again? Smokers and non-smokers alike are shaking their heads in disgust. How dumb was that to start again? All addicts know it didn't take long to be right back there: using my drug of choice.
So I just had a serious pang of how fun it would be to do a blog and have a smoke. Aargh.
The first few hours (awake hours anyway) went by smoothly. My thoughts went like this:
Wow, this is easy. I am not suffering. I can do it. Ha, I don't even need a killerette (tm).
After about 12 easy hours (8 of which were sleeping...lol-) I am getting a few urges. Those painful ones. Like oh just forget it, I'll pick another day to quit. Ohh, I want some hits of my favorite drug: nicotine.
My daughter quit two and a half weeks before I did, so she has been my motivator, but now she just told me on the phone that she cheated twice. My reaction is that oh good, now I can cheat too. Then I thought oh WTF, if she cheated already, I might as well go get some killerettes tm and quit quitting.
But relax, (honey), I won't. Yet. Sorry, the yet is just being honest.
Let's be perfectly clear about the evils of smoking. If you smoke, you are an addict. Addicted to the drug that is in cigarettes. Nicotine.
Well, that's nearly enough for now. Although I started this blog to journal the journey, I may delve into other subjects. Like talk about all the things I want to start doing now that I am a non-smoker.
They are
1. write- finish and submit my works in progress
2. ride my horses more
3. walk (for exercise), hike, bike
4. practice and play my guitar
That's only the funstuff.
I also want to declutter and organize, eat healthy, lose weight, etc.etc.
My standing joke is about my New Year's Resolutions.
I make the same ones year after year. (Does everyone?)
Eat healthy ( =lose weight)
Exercise
Write
Declutter (=get rid of lots of crap) and organize house
Quit smoking
Be on time (the genetic code in my family has perpetual tardiness written in...)
That's enough blog for now. I think I'll go take a walk. With my big white Shepherd.
Later,
Diana
Actually, it is my birthday. I am giving myself a gift.
I am a non-smoker.
So, how many hours so far? Well, it's 10:40 a.m. and my last killerette was at 9:32 p.m. on the 22nd of September, 2009. Not to be specific or anything.
I figured overnighting without a killerette (did I just make that up? a real term for cigarette? I should trademark that. BRB.)
Okay, now it's trademarked. (easy online process)
As I was saying, I figured overnighting without a killerette (tm) would be the best way to start.
And let me recommend a book. The book seems to work as subtle brainwashing. By Allen Carr, it's titled The EasyWay to Stop Smoking. You want to quit, you buy the book. You start reading it. Carr says, keep smoking the whole time you read this book, so you take about 3 months to read it. (One who usually reads a book every two days....yeah you figured it out.) Meanwhile, everything you've been reading is simmering in your brain. By the time you finish you are chomping at the bit
(ooh horse similes-that's just horsing around, isn't it!)
to give it up and start your journey to freedom.
So, enough plugging of the book, and I don't even get royalties. Unless you'd like to share Mr. Carr?
I stopped smoking once for seven years. Seriously. Then I started again? Smokers and non-smokers alike are shaking their heads in disgust. How dumb was that to start again? All addicts know it didn't take long to be right back there: using my drug of choice.
So I just had a serious pang of how fun it would be to do a blog and have a smoke. Aargh.
The first few hours (awake hours anyway) went by smoothly. My thoughts went like this:
Wow, this is easy. I am not suffering. I can do it. Ha, I don't even need a killerette (tm).
After about 12 easy hours (8 of which were sleeping...lol-) I am getting a few urges. Those painful ones. Like oh just forget it, I'll pick another day to quit. Ohh, I want some hits of my favorite drug: nicotine.
My daughter quit two and a half weeks before I did, so she has been my motivator, but now she just told me on the phone that she cheated twice. My reaction is that oh good, now I can cheat too. Then I thought oh WTF, if she cheated already, I might as well go get some killerettes tm and quit quitting.
But relax, (honey), I won't. Yet. Sorry, the yet is just being honest.
Let's be perfectly clear about the evils of smoking. If you smoke, you are an addict. Addicted to the drug that is in cigarettes. Nicotine.
Well, that's nearly enough for now. Although I started this blog to journal the journey, I may delve into other subjects. Like talk about all the things I want to start doing now that I am a non-smoker.
They are
1. write- finish and submit my works in progress
2. ride my horses more
3. walk (for exercise), hike, bike
4. practice and play my guitar
That's only the funstuff.
I also want to declutter and organize, eat healthy, lose weight, etc.etc.
My standing joke is about my New Year's Resolutions.
I make the same ones year after year. (Does everyone?)
Eat healthy ( =lose weight)
Exercise
Write
Declutter (=get rid of lots of crap) and organize house
Quit smoking
Be on time (the genetic code in my family has perpetual tardiness written in...)
That's enough blog for now. I think I'll go take a walk. With my big white Shepherd.
Later,
Diana
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tomorrow
Tomorrow is the day.
I will be a non-smoker.
I will blog the process.
Blogging will be therapeutic.
Right?
I will be a non-smoker.
I will blog the process.
Blogging will be therapeutic.
Right?
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