Well, to those who were waiting for a blog post here it is:
1. Saturday was HELL.
just so you know.
i wanted to cry and scream.
i did speak with supporters and they (sarah) helped me
in fact, the 3 dearest have all been so supportive
and best of all,
jenni said i can say the word fuck on my blog.
so fuck. it's gotten easier these last 2 days.
the pain pangs are fewer and further between.
By the way,
note to childrens of my heart:
over 7 years ago, i started smoking again. the reasons for this are sheer stupidity and none of your business. but i swear on my babies' lives it had nothing to do with the fact that one of my loveys started smoking. so there. it was personal.
and all in the past.
truth is, an addict is always looking for an excuse to begin using again.
seriously.
and think of poor poor hubsand (sic) who bears brunt of bitchiness.
i deny it at the time, but have been having more bitchier bitch twinges than usual.
so
did i mention eating?
I have always eaten more than necessary, but in the last few days it's all out fuck it and i am eating more than more than necessary.
haven't fully kicked in with addiction to exercise yet, but the journey of a thousand steps has begun. (regardless of what other's think, a good cliche works for me every time)
bye for now loveys
diana
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I guess we'll find out if you really can say fuck in a couple days eh? If this is still here? I'm pretty sure as long as we don't report you, you'll be fine. I'll try my best not to. I'm sure your husband is happy to have a healthier wifey with a few bitchy twinges along the way. He's a pretty good guy. So proud of you my mutha! Keep it up!
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