THROUGH THE WINDOW

So today, I tried to combine my 3 blogs into one.
Not Just Horsing Around,
Reading Disorder, my book club blog,
and Through the Window, my diary of a quitter.
Not sure how it will all work, but

quickie updates:
THROUGH THE WINDOW
1. I am still quit.
Yes, I still long for Nick on occasion, but I know he is a bastard, so I try to stay quit. I have replaced Nick with cake. Thank you Ricky Gervais for my quote of the year. "It wasn’t my fault I got fat in the first place. Cakes are nice and they sell them in supermarkets."

NOT JUST HORSING AROUND
2. Still mud. No call back from the contractor. I moved the horses to sacrifice the grass field that has been used sparingly. I will sow seed in the other small field that is a mud paradise for early grass next spring.

Fortunately it has not rained for a while. Our midwest month of October had 23 out of 31 rainy days.

READING DISORDER
My book club blog
3. Just finished INK EXCHANGE, Marr, INSIDE MRS. B'S CLASSROOM, Leslie Baldacci, ready to start King's new one.
I have trouble keeping up the blogs with the books--I think there are missing titles.

ttyl

Reading Disorder my book club blog HARDBALL

Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Discuss HARDBALL by Sara Paretsky
Currently reading Paretsky's latest mystery thriller.
I am a big fan of Paretsky's novels featuring V.I. Warshawski. They are set in Chicago,(one of my favorite cities.)

Does everyone love to read books with familiar settings?



Posted by dianalmb at 9:17 PM

Reading Disorder my book club blog HARDBALL

Sunday, October 4, 2009
comments on HARDBALL
well, I did enjoy this book. However, in the interests of full disclosure, I had the feeling that parts of it were written by someone else.
It seemed disjointed and disorganized at the beginning. Then I wondered, are all Paretsky's books like that? I had not noticed before.
I enjoy mystery thrillers, especially as I solve parts of the mystery before the main character does. And it's especially fun when I think I have figured out something, but did not!
Paretsky came through in the end, and the last half was great.
I wonder why some her steadfast buddy mr c was so hard on V.I. though. That seemed out of character for him.

What do you think?
Posted by dianalmb at 10:21 AM

Reading Disorder my book club blog BANGKOK 8

Sunday, October 4, 2009
BANGKOK 8
Finished BANGKOK 8 by John Burdett

First of all, my ultimate test of whether I consider a book "good" or worthy of my time, is the desire to read other books by the same author.

This one passes in that regard.

Although the Thailand traditions and differences are often a little puzzling, it is really an intriguing book with wonderful characters, interesting twists, great cultural lessons, and a fun travelogue to Bangkok Thailand.

The ending is wow, unexpected, and readers are left wanting more of Detective Sonchai Jitpleecheep!
Posted by dianalmb at 10:21 AM

reading disorder the absolutely true diary of a part time indian

Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sherman Alexie: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
by Sherman Alexie
It is a National Book Award Winner and though shelved in fiction, I'm pretty sure it's a "true" story, based on Sherman's life.
I just started this book, shelved in the Young Adult section of the BOOKSTORE at which I am employed. Will let you know how it goes, but the first few chapters are superb.

Reading Disorder my book club blog

Monday, October 12, 2009
South of Broad
Okay
Currently reading South of Broad by Pat Conroy.

I really like it very much
but I do realize that all his characters are...

however he makes up in vivid colorful setting descriptions

and don't we all want to visit the charleston sc and san fran ca after reading the book
Posted by dianalmb at 10:50 AM

Reading Disorder-my book club blog

Tuesday, October 27, 2009
blog falling behind
Okay-just finished her fearful symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger.
It didn't go where I thought it would, that's for sure.More later. Have to tell you that Niffenegger writes beautifully and I kept reading and waiting, reading and waiting. Seriously though, this book took me longer to finish than it should have. I would give it a must read rating though.

Previous to that finished Michael Connelly's Nine Dragons. Oh Harry Bosch, I love you. No spoilers, but I always enjoy an international setting. Plus, wow, readers will be shocked at what transpires. Since we never quite understand the ex-wife thing anyway, (what is her problem, fer chrissakes), we're not left too upset. If you love Connelly, if you love Harry, you will not want to miss this one.

Currently reading The Scarpetta Factor by Patricia Cornwell. Cornwell, like Connelly, been delivering the really fine goods for a few decades. Will keep you posted
Posted by dianalmb at 10:17 AM

Not Just Horsing Around

Monday, September 28, 2009
Not Just Horsing Around
Hello and welcome to my not just horsing around blog.
this is for horse crazies, be they ladies or not

i have 3 each of my favorite things
horses
dogs
daughters
not exhibiting favoritism: list is not necessarily in order-

my horses live on my property.
i ride trails
and live on a private trail system in the midwest

meet the horses
Oscar 28 year old liver chestnut TWH gelding. I've owned him since he was a wild and crazy 8 year old. We've been there and done that. He is still a silly horse sometimes, but is great on the trails.

Teagan 10 year old Haflinger mare
owned since she was 6 months
spoiled princess type
draft (nickname given by middle daughter: bitch tank, kind of says it all)
drives, and rides although Michele claims her gaits suck.

Gypsy- chestnut and white overo TWH mare 8 years old; bought as a green 3 year old to be my replacement trail horse when oscar's arthritis slowed him down a bit. She's a DOLL, gorgeous and great fun

Will post pics later
and introduce rest of my favorite threes in later posts

hay,
thanks for reading!
Diana

Not Just Horsing Around

Thursday, October 15, 2009
HELP. Mud.
Well, I need to get some followers who can advise me...
what do you all do about a mud problem?

It's been a wet season here and the mud has turned to goo in front of the little shed.
Should I try gravel?
what size?
First rock, then gravel, then limestone?
Any one have any bright, inexpensive ideas?
Plus, lets consider it may be something I have to do myself.
All by myself...
Thanks
Diana
Posted by Diana LMB at 11:27 AM

Not Just Horsing Around

laminitis sole abscess
If I have learned anything in my few decades of horse owning, it should be to trust my own instincts.

My 28 year old Tennessee Walking Horse gelding came down the hill to eat and he was lame lame lame yesterday.

He's arthritic, but never this sore. So I hose him off, pick his feet. I notice some warmness in both front feet. Since I am always a worry wart, I assume laminitis. Don't know how he got it, but i have been splitting two loads of hay, one more alfalfa than i prefer so i split the feed amount between the alfalfa and some grass hay from a new hay vendor. now i have fed fresh hay before without problem but this grass was too grassy weedy leafy and new. but the hay guy seemed to think it was okay since he dried it in the field quite well.

Not so said the vet.

It should be cured, aged, whatever you want to call it for at least 30 days. Take note. My instinct of not liking the hay was correct, so I should have followed it.

However; Oscar had a sole abscess. Now I saw nothing in his hoof when i picked it, but when the vet carved into it, he found a hole in the sole, and it did the sole abscess ooze. Yuck. But, and this but is bigger than my own; BUT I am glad, and maybe he's so sore from a sole abscess which i can treat easier with medicated wraps, soaks, and pain killer. Laminitis scares me. And I am always so careful about things that cause it. Too rich hay (hence dislike of pure alfalfa,) too much lush grass, too much high powered concentrates, no hard riding on hard pavement, etc, etc.

So wish us luck. My old 'been there done that' Oscar should be fine in 5 to 7 days!

Happy Trails
Diana
Posted by Diana LMB at 5:03 PM

Not Just Horsing Around

Monday, October 26, 2009
regarding mud mud mud
my horse crazy daughter scolded me yesterday. she said why do i always bitch about the mud, but don't do anything about it.
well, first off all it costs money which isn't growing on the trees in the back yard
secondly, time and weather changes make it better and then i forget about it until the next time.
but after 19 years of horses on this small horsekeeping property, i realized and she pointed out...that we haven't done any serious erosion maintenance. In fact, all the mud scraping and erosion has dropped the ground level about a foot from where it used to be.
so the kid shamed me into making some phone calls. have a few estimates on digging out mud poo glop and laying down some inches of 5/8 inch rock, some inches of pea gravel, and maybe topping it off with some screenings.
so will keep the blog posted on what happens.

even so, if it doesn't stop raining soon, i am going to go insaner than i already am.
Not just horsing around either!

Diana

Sept. 22-Oct. 22 = one month but today is 26 so one month 4 days

oh nick my lover
sometimes i long for you still
your love poisons me



hahaha.

nick is an old lover of mine.
we used to hang out a lot
when i sucked on him
he would glow
i tell you it was smokin' hot
but he was hurtful
nick didn't give a damn about me
he just used me and my cash
so i am trying to forget nick
that bastard
that killer
aww
but we had some really fine times together
didn't we?

k-k-k-krazy

happy anniversary 3 weeks

3 weeks and 37 minutes
when will the counting end
oh no


today is a boo
hoo blue day i want something
smoking no yes no...

Tic toc tic toc tic toc

hello band of sweeties
it's nearly 3 weeks of clean living for me
i had an epiphany of hey i don't smoke when i was flying to south carolina and i didn't have to worry about when i was going to be able to have my next cigarette
i also drank beer without smoking
hahahaha start the parade

and
i took a 2 mile walk

oh and another important milestone
i had my first dream about smoking
i remember this from last time i quit
anyway in this dream
i had a pack and took out one
saying i was just going to slip once
have one cigarette
i remember holding it in my hand and trying to decide if i wanted to smoke it or not

i didn't

and then i woke up

brother

the intense cravings come occasionally with known triggers--break time, break time break time.
kind of funny how work breaks, home breaks, etc. trig it

but so far, no slips no relapses

how are you doing sarah?
are you still a quitter

i was really motivated to stay a quitter when my brother and his wife stopped by last night. he's moving to NC, for a new job and opportunity. it's exciting for them, sad for me but the point of this dissertation is:
he just had another cancer surgery on his mouth, mmm, the 6th? maybe the 5th. oral cancer. his recent surgery was a little over a week ago.
think nicotine is addictive? he stood there on the porch and smoked his ciggie.
holy shit
i think i'll stay quit

love,
me

ps i gave him my brainwash book mentioned in earlier posts
i love him and worry
why won't he stop
i will pray for him

Wednesday one week one day

Hi-Koo 4 U

crisp autumn urges
longing for a killerette
breath deep and scent air

9:30 p.m. will be one full week

So,
one full week of no nicotine/smoking at 930 pm tonite.
932 to be exact
i can still taste the last cigarette on the drive home

this day is easier.
did a bit of research on how not to gain weight while quitting. bet you can figure it out: eat more fruits and vegetables and exercise. LOL. hope they didn't spend millions on that research

do i still have cravings? yes i do. do i give a shit about them? no, not much. that's the story of now anyway

p.s. if you have a cigarette, it's a slip. if you start up again, it's a relapse.

no, i have had neither slip nor relapse.

Thank you for your support girlies.

some of my best advice for the people of the world:
don't start smoking
there is not a smoker in this world who wouldn't go back and change their history to be one who never smoked at all
don't start
and you won't have to stop

i can feel my body healing
negative symptoms:
heartburn still occasionally but that may be due to the grease i stuff into my mouth in lieu of killerettes
snoring still bad...sorry hubsand

some physical pain in stomach

some depression-but that could be normal autumnal winter coming depressions (and etc.etc.depressions)rather than nicwithsymp depression


positives and symptoms:
it smells so lovely here in the pine forest really it does
i breathe
i feel proud of myself
i have saved money
i want to be a quitter
i am healing

Okay enough about me for now.
how are you doing>
loveya
diana

New Post 5 days 17.5 hours (approximate-LOL)

Well, to those who were waiting for a blog post here it is:
1. Saturday was HELL.
just so you know.
i wanted to cry and scream.
i did speak with supporters and they (sarah) helped me
in fact, the 3 dearest have all been so supportive

and best of all,
jenni said i can say the word fuck on my blog.
so fuck. it's gotten easier these last 2 days.
the pain pangs are fewer and further between.

By the way,
note to childrens of my heart:
over 7 years ago, i started smoking again. the reasons for this are sheer stupidity and none of your business. but i swear on my babies' lives it had nothing to do with the fact that one of my loveys started smoking. so there. it was personal.
and all in the past.
truth is, an addict is always looking for an excuse to begin using again.
seriously.

and think of poor poor hubsand (sic) who bears brunt of bitchiness.
i deny it at the time, but have been having more bitchier bitch twinges than usual.
so
did i mention eating?
I have always eaten more than necessary, but in the last few days it's all out fuck it and i am eating more than more than necessary.
haven't fully kicked in with addiction to exercise yet, but the journey of a thousand steps has begun. (regardless of what other's think, a good cliche works for me every time)
bye for now loveys
diana

40 hours 41 minutes but who's counting...

Hello Race Fans.
It's me back with another update.
I just want to say:
F**k this: cigarettes, nicotine,
tobacco, quitting, withdrawal,
thinking about cigarettes,
pangs pains pings

my eff asterisk asterisk kay
would probably be reported if i spelled it out right?
hence the F**k.
what if i wrote eff you see kay?
enough.
my blog will be gone
sooner than
the nicotine out of my body.
hanging in there
love me,
diana

Today

Today is the day.
Actually, it is my birthday. I am giving myself a gift.
I am a non-smoker.
So, how many hours so far? Well, it's 10:40 a.m. and my last killerette was at 9:32 p.m. on the 22nd of September, 2009. Not to be specific or anything.
I figured overnighting without a killerette (did I just make that up? a real term for cigarette? I should trademark that. BRB.)
Okay, now it's trademarked. (easy online process)
As I was saying, I figured overnighting without a killerette (tm) would be the best way to start.
And let me recommend a book. The book seems to work as subtle brainwashing. By Allen Carr, it's titled The EasyWay to Stop Smoking. You want to quit, you buy the book. You start reading it. Carr says, keep smoking the whole time you read this book, so you take about 3 months to read it. (One who usually reads a book every two days....yeah you figured it out.) Meanwhile, everything you've been reading is simmering in your brain. By the time you finish you are chomping at the bit

(ooh horse similes-that's just horsing around, isn't it!)
to give it up and start your journey to freedom.
So, enough plugging of the book, and I don't even get royalties. Unless you'd like to share Mr. Carr?

I stopped smoking once for seven years. Seriously. Then I started again? Smokers and non-smokers alike are shaking their heads in disgust. How dumb was that to start again? All addicts know it didn't take long to be right back there: using my drug of choice.

So I just had a serious pang of how fun it would be to do a blog and have a smoke. Aargh.

The first few hours (awake hours anyway) went by smoothly. My thoughts went like this:
Wow, this is easy. I am not suffering. I can do it. Ha, I don't even need a killerette (tm).

After about 12 easy hours (8 of which were sleeping...lol-) I am getting a few urges. Those painful ones. Like oh just forget it, I'll pick another day to quit. Ohh, I want some hits of my favorite drug: nicotine.

My daughter quit two and a half weeks before I did, so she has been my motivator, but now she just told me on the phone that she cheated twice. My reaction is that oh good, now I can cheat too. Then I thought oh WTF, if she cheated already, I might as well go get some killerettes tm and quit quitting.
But relax, (honey), I won't. Yet. Sorry, the yet is just being honest.

Let's be perfectly clear about the evils of smoking. If you smoke, you are an addict. Addicted to the drug that is in cigarettes. Nicotine.

Well, that's nearly enough for now. Although I started this blog to journal the journey, I may delve into other subjects. Like talk about all the things I want to start doing now that I am a non-smoker.
They are
1. write- finish and submit my works in progress
2. ride my horses more
3. walk (for exercise), hike, bike
4. practice and play my guitar

That's only the funstuff.
I also want to declutter and organize, eat healthy, lose weight, etc.etc.
My standing joke is about my New Year's Resolutions.
I make the same ones year after year. (Does everyone?)
Eat healthy ( =lose weight)
Exercise
Write
Declutter (=get rid of lots of crap) and organize house
Quit smoking
Be on time (the genetic code in my family has perpetual tardiness written in...)

That's enough blog for now. I think I'll go take a walk. With my big white Shepherd.
Later,
Diana

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day.
I will be a non-smoker.
I will blog the process.
Blogging will be therapeutic.
Right?