oh nick my lover
sometimes i long for you still
your love poisons me
hahaha.
nick is an old lover of mine.
we used to hang out a lot
when i sucked on him
he would glow
i tell you it was smokin' hot
but he was hurtful
nick didn't give a damn about me
he just used me and my cash
so i am trying to forget nick
that bastard
that killer
aww
but we had some really fine times together
didn't we?
k-k-k-krazy
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
happy anniversary 3 weeks
3 weeks and 37 minutes
when will the counting end
oh no
today is a boo
hoo blue day i want something
smoking no yes no...
when will the counting end
oh no
today is a boo
hoo blue day i want something
smoking no yes no...
Monday, October 12, 2009
Tic toc tic toc tic toc
hello band of sweeties
it's nearly 3 weeks of clean living for me
i had an epiphany of hey i don't smoke when i was flying to south carolina and i didn't have to worry about when i was going to be able to have my next cigarette
i also drank beer without smoking
hahahaha start the parade
and
i took a 2 mile walk
oh and another important milestone
i had my first dream about smoking
i remember this from last time i quit
anyway in this dream
i had a pack and took out one
saying i was just going to slip once
have one cigarette
i remember holding it in my hand and trying to decide if i wanted to smoke it or not
i didn't
and then i woke up
it's nearly 3 weeks of clean living for me
i had an epiphany of hey i don't smoke when i was flying to south carolina and i didn't have to worry about when i was going to be able to have my next cigarette
i also drank beer without smoking
hahahaha start the parade
and
i took a 2 mile walk
oh and another important milestone
i had my first dream about smoking
i remember this from last time i quit
anyway in this dream
i had a pack and took out one
saying i was just going to slip once
have one cigarette
i remember holding it in my hand and trying to decide if i wanted to smoke it or not
i didn't
and then i woke up
Sunday, October 4, 2009
brother
the intense cravings come occasionally with known triggers--break time, break time break time.
kind of funny how work breaks, home breaks, etc. trig it
but so far, no slips no relapses
how are you doing sarah?
are you still a quitter
i was really motivated to stay a quitter when my brother and his wife stopped by last night. he's moving to NC, for a new job and opportunity. it's exciting for them, sad for me but the point of this dissertation is:
he just had another cancer surgery on his mouth, mmm, the 6th? maybe the 5th. oral cancer. his recent surgery was a little over a week ago.
think nicotine is addictive? he stood there on the porch and smoked his ciggie.
holy shit
i think i'll stay quit
love,
me
ps i gave him my brainwash book mentioned in earlier posts
i love him and worry
why won't he stop
i will pray for him
kind of funny how work breaks, home breaks, etc. trig it
but so far, no slips no relapses
how are you doing sarah?
are you still a quitter
i was really motivated to stay a quitter when my brother and his wife stopped by last night. he's moving to NC, for a new job and opportunity. it's exciting for them, sad for me but the point of this dissertation is:
he just had another cancer surgery on his mouth, mmm, the 6th? maybe the 5th. oral cancer. his recent surgery was a little over a week ago.
think nicotine is addictive? he stood there on the porch and smoked his ciggie.
holy shit
i think i'll stay quit
love,
me
ps i gave him my brainwash book mentioned in earlier posts
i love him and worry
why won't he stop
i will pray for him
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